When we think about healing from trauma or overcoming inner struggles, we often imagine “fixing” something that’s broken. But in reality, we are not broken—we are complex, layered human beings who carry many different parts within us. Each of these parts holds its own thoughts, feelings, memories, and roles in our inner world.
The idea of “working with parts” comes from therapies like Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Ego State Therapy. While the approaches differ, they share a common belief: your inner world is made up of different parts of you, and each one is trying—often in its own way—to protect you.

What Are “Parts”?

Think of your mind like a community.
• Some parts might be Protectors, working hard to keep you safe by avoiding certain situations or feelings.
• Others may be Exiles, holding painful memories or emotions from the past.
• There might even be playful, creative, or curious parts that you haven’t connected with for a long time.
When trauma or overwhelming experiences happen, some parts take on extreme roles to help you cope in the moment. These strategies may have been lifesaving at the time—but they can feel limiting or exhausting later in life.

Why Work With Parts?

Parts work helps you:
• Understand why you react the way you do in certain situations.
• Reduce the inner conflict that comes when different parts want different things.
• Bring compassion and understanding to the parts of you that carry pain or shame.
• Build a sense of inner harmony, so your decisions come from your calm, wise “core self,” not just from fear or habit.
By getting to know these parts, you can transform old survival strategies into healthier ways of being. The goal isn’t to “get rid” of parts—it’s to help them feel safe, understood, and integrated into the whole of who you are.

What Does It Look Like in Therapy?

In a session, your therapist might guide you to:
• Pause and notice what’s happening inside—sensations, emotions, thoughts.
• Listen to a part’s voice without judgment. This could be an anxious voice, a critical voice, or a protective voice.
• Explore its history—when did this part first show up? What was it trying to do for you?
• Offer compassion—help the part know that you hear it, you understand its fear or need, and you’re here now to take care of yourself in new ways.
Sometimes, this process can feel surprising—like meeting an old friend you didn’t know you had. Other times, it can bring a deep sense of relief as old patterns finally begin to shift.

A Kind Word for the Journey

Working with parts takes courage and patience. It’s not about rushing to “fix” yourself—it’s about building a respectful, curious relationship with the many aspects of your inner life.
When we learn to welcome our parts with compassion, something powerful happens: the inner battles quiet down, and we begin to move through the world with more freedom, confidence, and peace.
If you’ve been feeling stuck, conflicted, or weighed down by old wounds, parts work may be a gentle yet transformative way forward.

As a counselling therapist, I often hear clients say, "I just don’t feel good enough." These words carry so much weight—pain, self-doubt, and a longing to feel valued. If this resonates with you, I want to begin by saying: You are not alone. Many people struggle with these feelings, and the fact that you are seeking ways to address them is a testament to your strength.

Understanding the Root of Self-Doubt

Feeling like you are not good enough often stems from early experiences—perhaps messages from caregivers, teachers, or peers that suggested you had to meet certain standards to be worthy of love and acceptance. Over time, these messages can turn into an internalized voice of self-criticism. This inner critic tells you that no matter how much you achieve, how hard you try, or how much you give, you are still falling short.
One of the first steps in addressing these feelings is recognizing that this inner critic is not your true voice. It is an accumulation of past messages, societal pressures, and fears. And it can be challenged.

Shifting from Self-Criticism to Self-Compassion

Imagine speaking to a dear friend who feels like they are not good enough. Would you tell them they are failing? That they will never measure up? Of course not. You would offer kindness, understanding, and reassurance. Yet, we rarely extend this same grace to ourselves.
A powerful way to start shifting your internal dialogue is to practice self-compassion. When you hear that inner critic, pause and ask yourself:

• Would I say this to a loved one?
• Is this thought helping or harming me?
• What is a kinder, more balanced perspective I could take?

Challenging Negative Beliefs

The belief that you are not good enough is just that—a belief, not a fact. Begin to challenge these thoughts by:

• Noticing Patterns: When do these feelings arise? Are there specific situations, people, or expectations that trigger them?
• Gathering Evidence: List times when you have succeeded, been valued, or shown resilience. The mind often fixates on failures but overlooks strengths.
• Reframing Thoughts: Instead of "I’m not good enough," try "I am doing my best, and that is enough."

Building a Supportive Inner and Outer World

Healing from self-doubt is not something you have to do alone. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, remind you of your worth, and encourage you to see yourself with kindness. Therapy, support groups, and trusted friends can provide valuable perspective.
Additionally, cultivating practices that reinforce self-worth—such as journaling, mindfulness, or creative expression—can help shift your relationship with yourself. Every time you choose to respond to yourself with patience and kindness, you are rewriting the old script that says you are not enough.

You Are Enough—Right Now

The truth is, your worth is not something you have to earn. You don’t have to prove yourself to be deserving of love and belonging. You already are. Healing from self-doubt takes time, but every small step toward self-acceptance is a victory.

If you find yourself struggling, please reach out using the contact form below. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. You are seen, you are valued, and you are more than enough—just as you are.

In recent years, there has been a growing awareness of the importance of mental health for men. Traditionally, societal norms have discouraged many men from seeking therapy, often associating emotional vulnerability with weakness. However, research increasingly highlights the immense benefits of counselling for men, helping them navigate life’s challenges more effectively. As a professional counsellor, I have seen firsthand how therapy can transform lives. Here are ten key benefits of seeking therapy for male clients, along with the essential counsellor attributes that facilitate meaningful change.

Emotional Regulation and Expression

Many men have been socialized to suppress their emotions, leading to stress, frustration, and even physical health issues. Therapy provides a safe space for men to express their emotions without fear of judgment, equipping them with strategies to regulate and communicate their feelings more effectively.

Improved Relationships

Unresolved emotional struggles can negatively impact personal and professional relationships. Therapy helps men develop stronger communication skills, foster emotional intelligence, and navigate conflicts in healthier ways, leading to more fulfilling relationships with partners, family members, and colleagues.

Stress and Anxiety Management

The pressures of work, finances, and societal expectations can lead to significant stress and anxiety. Counselling provides coping strategies, relaxation techniques, and cognitive reframing methods that help men manage stress more effectively, improving overall well-being.

Breaking Free from old models of Masculinity

Many men struggle with rigid gender roles that discourage vulnerability and emotional openness. Therapy helps deconstruct these harmful stereotypes, allowing men to embrace a more authentic and balanced version of masculinity.

Increased Self-Awareness and Personal Growth

Counselling encourages self-reflection, helping men gain insight into their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. This awareness fosters personal development, enhances decision-making, and builds self-confidence.

Support for Depression and Mental Health Challenges

Men often downplay symptoms of depression, which can manifest as anger, irritability, or withdrawal. Therapy provides a structured approach to addressing mental health concerns, offering tools for resilience and emotional healing.

Enhanced Coping Mechanisms

Life presents challenges such as career setbacks, relationship struggles, or loss. Therapy equips men with effective coping mechanisms, ensuring they can navigate difficulties without resorting to harmful behaviors such as substance abuse or emotional detachment.

Career and Life Success

A stable mental state contributes to success in both personal and professional life. Therapy enhances motivation, focus, and goal-setting, empowering men to make informed choices that align with their values and aspirations.

Building Resilience

Resilience is the ability to adapt and thrive despite adversity. Therapy fosters resilience by teaching men how to process setbacks, develop problem-solving skills, and maintain a positive outlook in the face of challenges.

Suicide Prevention and Emotional Support

Men are statistically more likely to die by suicide, often due to unaddressed mental health struggles. Therapy provides a crucial lifeline, offering support, understanding, and effective intervention strategies to reduce feelings of hopelessness and isolation.

Key Counsellor Attributes That Benefit Male Clients

To create a therapeutic environment where men feel comfortable opening up, counsellors should possess the following qualities:

• Nonjudgmental Approach – Many men fear being judged for expressing vulnerability. A compassionate and unbiased stance encourages open dialogue.

• Empathy and Active Listening – Validating a client’s experiences fosters trust and enhances the therapeutic relationship.

• Cultural Competence – Understanding the societal and cultural influences on masculinity helps address unique challenges.

• Strength-Based Approach – Focusing on existing strengths and resilience rather than weaknesses empowers male clients.

• Solution-Focused Strategies – Many men appreciate practical, goal-oriented techniques that offer tangible results.

• Confidentiality Assurance – Reinforcing the privacy and safety of therapy sessions is crucial in building trust.

Conclusion

Seeking therapy is not a sign of weakness but an act of courage and self-care. As societal perceptions evolve, it is crucial to continue encouraging men to prioritize their mental health. Counsellors play a vital role in supporting male clients by creating a space where they feel heard, respected, and empowered to lead healthier, more fulfilling lives.

If you or someone you know is struggling, reaching out to a qualified therapist can be the first step toward meaningful change and personal growth.  Reach out now to a Counselling Concern by using the contact form link below or call Paul on 0405023777.