Meeting your inner "Parts"
20/08/25 15:28
When we think about healing from trauma or overcoming inner struggles, we often imagine “fixing” something that’s broken. But in reality, we are not broken—we are complex, layered human beings who carry many different parts within us. Each of these parts holds its own thoughts, feelings, memories, and roles in our inner world.
The idea of “working with parts” comes from therapies like Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Ego State Therapy. While the approaches differ, they share a common belief: your inner world is made up of different parts of you, and each one is trying—often in its own way—to protect you.
Think of your mind like a community.
• Some parts might be Protectors, working hard to keep you safe by avoiding certain situations or feelings.
• Others may be Exiles, holding painful memories or emotions from the past.
• There might even be playful, creative, or curious parts that you haven’t connected with for a long time.
When trauma or overwhelming experiences happen, some parts take on extreme roles to help you cope in the moment. These strategies may have been lifesaving at the time—but they can feel limiting or exhausting later in life.
Parts work helps you:
• Understand why you react the way you do in certain situations.
• Reduce the inner conflict that comes when different parts want different things.
• Bring compassion and understanding to the parts of you that carry pain or shame.
• Build a sense of inner harmony, so your decisions come from your calm, wise “core self,” not just from fear or habit.
By getting to know these parts, you can transform old survival strategies into healthier ways of being. The goal isn’t to “get rid” of parts—it’s to help them feel safe, understood, and integrated into the whole of who you are.
In a session, your therapist might guide you to:
• Pause and notice what’s happening inside—sensations, emotions, thoughts.
• Listen to a part’s voice without judgment. This could be an anxious voice, a critical voice, or a protective voice.
• Explore its history—when did this part first show up? What was it trying to do for you?
• Offer compassion—help the part know that you hear it, you understand its fear or need, and you’re here now to take care of yourself in new ways.
Sometimes, this process can feel surprising—like meeting an old friend you didn’t know you had. Other times, it can bring a deep sense of relief as old patterns finally begin to shift.
Working with parts takes courage and patience. It’s not about rushing to “fix” yourself—it’s about building a respectful, curious relationship with the many aspects of your inner life.
When we learn to welcome our parts with compassion, something powerful happens: the inner battles quiet down, and we begin to move through the world with more freedom, confidence, and peace.
If you’ve been feeling stuck, conflicted, or weighed down by old wounds, parts work may be a gentle yet transformative way forward.
The idea of “working with parts” comes from therapies like Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Ego State Therapy. While the approaches differ, they share a common belief: your inner world is made up of different parts of you, and each one is trying—often in its own way—to protect you.
What Are “Parts”?
Think of your mind like a community.
• Some parts might be Protectors, working hard to keep you safe by avoiding certain situations or feelings.
• Others may be Exiles, holding painful memories or emotions from the past.
• There might even be playful, creative, or curious parts that you haven’t connected with for a long time.
When trauma or overwhelming experiences happen, some parts take on extreme roles to help you cope in the moment. These strategies may have been lifesaving at the time—but they can feel limiting or exhausting later in life.
Why Work With Parts?
Parts work helps you:
• Understand why you react the way you do in certain situations.
• Reduce the inner conflict that comes when different parts want different things.
• Bring compassion and understanding to the parts of you that carry pain or shame.
• Build a sense of inner harmony, so your decisions come from your calm, wise “core self,” not just from fear or habit.
By getting to know these parts, you can transform old survival strategies into healthier ways of being. The goal isn’t to “get rid” of parts—it’s to help them feel safe, understood, and integrated into the whole of who you are.
What Does It Look Like in Therapy?
In a session, your therapist might guide you to:
• Pause and notice what’s happening inside—sensations, emotions, thoughts.
• Listen to a part’s voice without judgment. This could be an anxious voice, a critical voice, or a protective voice.
• Explore its history—when did this part first show up? What was it trying to do for you?
• Offer compassion—help the part know that you hear it, you understand its fear or need, and you’re here now to take care of yourself in new ways.
Sometimes, this process can feel surprising—like meeting an old friend you didn’t know you had. Other times, it can bring a deep sense of relief as old patterns finally begin to shift.
A Kind Word for the Journey
Working with parts takes courage and patience. It’s not about rushing to “fix” yourself—it’s about building a respectful, curious relationship with the many aspects of your inner life.
When we learn to welcome our parts with compassion, something powerful happens: the inner battles quiet down, and we begin to move through the world with more freedom, confidence, and peace.
If you’ve been feeling stuck, conflicted, or weighed down by old wounds, parts work may be a gentle yet transformative way forward.
